…searching for my lost book by Bernard. Ya, that title needs to be read with the underlying melody of a certain Jimmy Buffet song, which is always good to hear when you are mired in the depths of the purgatory that is academic grant writing. That’s where I happen to be trapped at present. Please feel free to send me a postcard, or say hi if you happen to be down here too. If you know the way out, at least leave some bread crumbs to mark the path. Seriously.
Moving on to the heart of the matter: I am in that special stage of graduate school where I spend the majority of my time attempting to create the perfect little document that will help me get that BIG, IMPORTANT GRANT so that I can actually go into the field and move on with my research. For some reason that perfect little document remains elusive. It is more than likely my own fault, rather than some macro-structural issue. There is definitely a learning curve when it comes to making appeals to that complex funding machine that few people truly understand. When it comes to getting that BIG, IMPORTANT GRANT, I happen to be zero for two at this point. So if this were a baseball game, I would be in literal and metaphorical trouble. But, I could always get inspiration from one of the all-time great hitters like Rod Carew, and pull off a clutch ninth inning hit. That means money. End of metaphor.
Anyway, I happen to find grant writing incredibly excruciating on numerous levels. From what I hear around the halls of academia, I am definitely not alone. On the flip side, I can’t imagine having to spend hours and hours reading one grant after another about the “complexities” or “nuances” of this or that particular social conundrum. Imagine that! The whole grant writing process is filled with real people–and that’s a good thing to keep in mind. Let’s not dehumanize the process, folks. We’re all just people, trying to find our way in this world. Insert moody, yet pensive background music that makes us rethink our life priorities.
Enough pensiveness. Let’s talk about the trials and travails of grant writing. I’ll start, with some thoughts, questions, and observations that I have learned along the way. Then hopefully some of your will chime in and give me your two or three cents about the matter. Keep in mind the fact that I am not currently a grant writing MASTER, and realize that I am in the middle of working through all of this out too. I may never figure it out! If you are in the same fix, read along and join in. If you are not quite at this stage and terrified of the whole process, read along and join in. If you are in fact a grant writing master, read along and join in. If you are currently sitting on piles of grant money that you don’t know what do to with…WHAT??! HOW?!? Just kidding. Please read along, everyone, and let’s see if we can make that special place known as Grantlandia just a bit sunnier–or at least less horrifyingly stressful. Continue reading →